Beau "Tie" Creson
There are times when I watch sports and see logos that make me completely sick to my stomach. I have decided that the only way to put an end to these terrible logos is to create a blog post that will raise public awareness about them and cause a civil uprising not seen since the WTO riots years ago. Although this time the police won’t be there to stop the people from obliterating every team jersey and foam finger available, they will be providing the torches and pitchforks. I am about to countdown the top 5 worst sports team logos and I want to warn all of you that some of the images in this post are not suitable for young eyes as they will make your children settle for less than satisfactory artwork on their team jerseys.
Coming in at number five would be the 1995-1996 logo for the New York islanders NHL team. As you can see there is an angry looking deep sea fisherman with a hockey stick guarding his hockey goal mercilessly. My two questions are: where is the islander and why is there a fisherman with a hockey stick mercilessly guarding a hockey goal? There is of course a subgroup of questions that need to be asked such as why does the fisherman have a spray on tan and why is he wearing a teal colored rain jacket? I feel like rain jackets for fisherman do not come in pastel colors. Basically, this logo is on the list because the name and picture are misleading. They should have probably been called the New York semi metro sexual fishermen.
The fourth place logo comes to us all the way from the NCAA. I am of course talking about the Youngstown State Penguins. I can appreciate a penguin as a mascot but this penguin seems to be modeled off of another penguin that I have seen before. Oh that’s right, the Youngstown State Penguin looks exactly like the penguin from those kid’s cuisine frozen dinners that I used to eat.
Look... Youngstown State makes frozen dinners for kids!
Can Youngstown State even do this? Why would they do this? Do you really want your college to be synonymous with snowman shaped macaroni and cheese and semi liquid mashed potatoes. Let’s just say that 30 seconds in the microwave in this case will not solve the problems of Youngstown State’s mascot.
Third place in the worst sports logo competition goes to the 50’s version of the Red Sox logo. I am really not sure what to make of this. I have boiled it down to two possibilities on what they hell this big shape is supposed to be. The first option is a bit farfetched. It appears that they took a picture through thermal goggles of Jay Leno playing a game of baseball in the dark with a ninja belt tied around his head. Also, he had no lower body except for legs for some reason. The second possibility is that this is just Florida upside down with a face. I thought it could be a red sock at first but if I ever see something like that on my foot I will be absolutely terrified.
This second place logo is absolutely mindboggling in so many ways to me. It is the Milwaukee Bucs logo from the NBA used from 1969-1993. What the hell is going on here? I feel like I could get a better deer out of my clip art in Microsoft Word. Also, a buck is a male deer. So why does this deer look like a sorority girl. I mean look at the legs…And is it actually batting its eyes? This is so disgraceful. No wonder this is one of the most terrible basketball teams ever to grace this planet. Sad part is their new logo would look good on a beer bottle, but it still looks ridiculous on a basketball jersey.
This first place logo comes from a team that is very near and dear to my heart. This is the 1966-1969 logo for the Dallas Cowboys. I realize it was the 60’s and you could not use a computer to make the graphics… but seriously. That doesn’t mean you have to find a three year old child to draw the logo for you. I don’t even know what the hell the guy is riding. Last I checked horses have more than two and a fourth legs. This logo is far and away the worst sports logo that I have ever seen, and from my favorite NFL team no less If the people who designed these five logos are still alive on this planet… may the lord have mercy on all of our sports’ souls.
Sincerely,
Beau “Tie”
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